So the other day, I sent the following to my buddy and fellow professional wrestling aficionado Jay:

"Simply put...if you could make a dream card of any wrestler at any point, playing any character ever...how would you do it? You must give reasons.

The rules:

1. You can only have a person on the card once. For example, you cannot have Cactus Jack wrestle Terry Funk, and then have Mankind wrestle Steve Austin. Only one match per person.

2. You can only have a MAX of 9 matches.

3. If you wish to name your show, give your announcers, who does the ring introductions, fine. Wish to have managers in corners, do that as well. It doesn't have to make sense, so if you want Bobby Heenan in the corner of The Ultimate Warrior, do so.

4. Give reasons to WHY you have the match the way you did.

5. No more than 3 gimmick matches allowed.

6. Feel free to give match results if you want, but you don't have to if you don't want.

Go.

This is interesting, and I know you've thought about it. I'll do it too. But I'm not sending mine until I get yours. But I won't read it until after I send mine. Just title your email as "My List" that way I know to send mine."

Below is my list.

Venue: Madison Square Garden (backup is Caesar's Palace in Vegas; Wrestlemania IX was exquisite, even though Hogan ruined it at the end.)

Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan

Ring Announcer: The Fink (circa 1990)

Dark Match: Brian Pillman vs The Brian Kendrick

I know, I know. I said nine matches because that's a usual PPV, but I like the possibility of the Loose Cannon beating up on the modern-day version of himself. I think it would be a good back and forth match, no Big Zeke in sight and Pillman would walk away after about a five-six minute match after a flying body press.

Match 1: Demolition vs Legion of Doom

Again, not a pretty match, but a fun one to watch. Mr. Fuji is on the outside for Demolition and Paul Ellerling is in LOD's corner. Back and forth powerhouse match for about ten minutes. End comes when Fuji tries to use the cane and hits Smash instead. Doomsday Device. 1, 2, 3.

Match 2: The Ultimate Warrior vs Batista

How could I not? I mean, having these two this early in the show says a number of things. Number 1, I know my first match is nothing short of an attraction match. This one would get people on their feet, even though the match itself would be awful. That's reason number 2. We both know these guys are the exact same character twenty years apart and missing some face paint and arm bands. I think it would be a good powerhouse match with one or two high points. Even though it makes little sense, I'd give the edge to Batista with his horrible version of a power bomb. Match goes maybe eight minutes.

Match 3: Owen Hart vs Chris Jericho (2009 version)

Come on. The consummate whiner versus the consummate whiner. Owen was one of the best to ever enter the squared circle (I believe without a shadow of a doubt that he would have been better than Bret) and Jericho as of now is exactly what would have been Owen if he lived to see this day. This match would have a lot of high spots and good old fashioned wrestling. A sure crowd-pleaser. Owen wins with the sharpshooter after he counters the Walls of Jericho. Match goes close to fifteen.

Match 4: Intergenerational Money in the Bank Ladder Match

"Superfly" Jimmy Snuka vs Rob Van Dam vs Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat vs Shelton Benjamin vs Mr. Perfect vs "Rowdy" Roddy Piper

I couldn't resist. Talk about finding lifetime mid-carders and sticking them in against today's mid-carders. (I know, I know. Dragon was a world champ...but in NWA). This would be a good match, about twenty minutes long with some good spots. Snuka off a ladder with the splash, Benjamin's acrobatics, and Henning just being that guy. I was tempted to go with Punk instead of Shelton, but I am completely underwhelmed by his one trick pony matches. I think I'd go sentimental and give the win to Piper (and I'm talking 1986 Piper here) by shear luck after everyone else is done. And Piper is the heel, so it'd be fun to see him walk out with it.

Match 5: Jake "The Snake" Roberts vs Edge

I think this one speaks for itself. It's a good transition match between a high energy gimmick match and the last three main events. Jake is the good guy here, still has Damian and isn't 900 lbs. Edge is still Ultimate Opportunist, but this is as far as it goes for me for him. I can't see him as a main-eventer and I was almost tempted to put him in the Ladder Match. I think Jake gets the win with the DDT. Ten-fifteen minutes.

Match 6: Randy Orton vs Bret "Hitman" Hart

(Half-way point. No turning back.)

I couldn't resist. Hart had to be here somewhere, and Orton (2009 version) is without a doubt one of the best heels today. Mix that with the Bret Hart that had every fan eating out of his hands for how long and you get an amazing match. The surprise here is that Orton wins after about 20 mins.

Match 7: "Macho Man" Randy Savage vs "The Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels

Again, couldn't resist. I'm talking Macho (circa 1988) versus Shawn (circa 1996-1997). This match is the show stealer, I think. Look at about fifteen minutes and look for Savage to win with the elbow. I can't imagine Savage losing, even though Shawn was at the top of his game.

Match 8: "Nature Boy" Ric Flair vs Triple H

This one needs little explanation. Ric Flair of the 80s versus Triple H now (or no later than 5 years ago.) I can see this one going about twenty five minutes and it would be amazing. I honestly think that next to the match before it, this would be the one to watch. The intensity of HHH and the wonderfully gifted trickery of Natch just means a good time for everyone. I give it to Flair because he ALWAYS finds a way to win.

Match 9: Fatal Four-Way for the WWF Title

Bruno Sammartino vs Hulk Hogan vs "Stone Cold" Steve Austin vs The Rock

Four icons from different times (sort of) battling it out for the WWF Title. (No WWE crap). Hogan, Austin and The Rock aren't even in the same class as Sammartino wrestling-wise, but they are the true draws of their generations. I think it would come down to just shear ability on Bruno's part that it's his match to lose, but a Stunner here, a Rock Bottom there, and of course the Leg Drop, I can't say for sure who would win. I think Sammartino should win, but I can't imagine Hogan not walking out victorious, based solely on the fact that I'm talking 1986-1989 Hogan here. Match would probably only go about fifteen minutes, but that doesn't matter, because no one expects an Iron Man Match.

*Who I left out: No Kurt Angle, Andre, Big Show, Dusty Rhodes, Sting, Rick Rude, Hardy's, DiBiase...Angle is the only one I kind of regret; he had no real place in my line-up, even though I thought about replacing Austin with him for about two seconds. DiBiase was hard for me too, but I could only validate putting him on as Money, Inc. with IRS and I think my tag match was better. Andre vs Big Show almost made it on instead of Warrior vs Batista, but I think the two muscleheads would be more entertaining than two big men. Also left off the Undertaker because I ran out of matches. I would have put him against Sting (the Crow version), but I stuck to WWF only...and he is the only opponent I would have like to see the Undertaker face.

I had fun with this and I've actually re-written it in my head about four different ways. I have no doubt that I will eventually redo this completely and send it on to Jay again. He sent me his back, and as always, I was impressed with his insights and ideas. Frankly, if he and I ever got up the courage to just apply to WWE or TNA, we could actually make wrestling entertaining once again...We're just that good (really, we are.)